There is a coffee shop in Peoria, IL called Thirty-Thirty., that is, and will forever be, the best coffee shop in the entire conceivable...

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect actual truths. One of...

House parties have always held an air of necessity. Like: we’ve got nowhere cool to go, and no one wants to go out, so let's shove...

My first and most sincere reason why no one should say “popping the cherry” is that cherries do not actually pop. Balloons pop. Tires...

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a runner. Nothing about “being a runner” is all that significant or glamorous. Some people speak in...

Sometimes, when my tum-tum is empty and I decide to nosh on baby carrots, I get the hiccups. This only happens with raw carrots, which is...

Hello all you beautiful humans! It’s recently come to my attention that bananas are extremely controversial. There are two types of...

Somewhere, sometime, someone decided that the perfect amount of human activity should add up to 10,000 steps per day. Maybe you use a...

"You know, Hemingway wrote standing up," said a man at a coffee shop one afternoon, as I stood at a tall bar writing an essay on the...

Vegans are generally very nice people. They care about the Earth, animals, and each other, which makes them pretty laid back and...

1. I love Starbucks. Specifically, Starbucks in Target, so I can sip an iced-low-fat-pumpkin-spice-latte-no-whip while purchasing...

Because the world we live in simultaneously success-driven and overly-entertained, I’ve been giving a lot of thought recently about the...

The smell of cigarettes reminds me of home. The first time I thought that particular thought, it was followed immediately by, “Wow, how...

I don’t know, I’m not an archaeologist. But, according to the wide and wonderful internet, there are few jobs, nearly half the land is...

According to the always-reliable Google, there are roughly 15 different types of birth control us women can ingest/insert in order to not...

Vans People who drive vans include: Peewee soccer moms. Peewee soccer dads, and Peewee soccer coaches, because 9,248 tiny, multi-colored...

Hello, all you beautiful humans! I'm here today to talk about Myers and Briggs. Myers was a coal miner, and Briggs was an accountant....

Chase and I have a cat named Chub Chub who happens to be our greatest pride and only joy. I never know whether I should hyphenate his...

Once upon a time, I was afraid of alcohol because every single women’s magazine out there continually espouses the merits of not...