[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.] “You have been impatient,” said my father, “since the moment you were born.” I exited my...

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.] She feels a bit rutted," I thought to myself. A bit scratchy around the temples. A bit...

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.] This is, again, not an exhaustive list. It's also not serious, so calm down, Debbie....

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.] I got home late, and I still needed to pack. First I needed to do laundry, so I drug my...

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.] It’s been a long day and normally, on long days, I’d do that thing we all do when we’ve...

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.] This is not an exhaustive list. 1. Birds. They are scary and gross. 2. When someone says...

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.] I accidently put premium gasoline in my car, and now I'm poor. Not really. But I sure...

[Listen to an audio version of this blog here.] It's Christmas Eve, and instead of curling up on my parent's sofa as snow falls outside,...

[Listen to an audio version of this blog HERE.] From Hotpads: an apartment on the beach that's only $5,400 a month. Fuck you, HotPads...

I spend an incredible amount of time each day writing and editing. It is my profession as well as my hobby. Spending so much time elbow...

The title of this blog is an unforgiving self-directive. Last week, I downloaded a *free* app called My Addictometer that tracks how much...

Historically, my favorite thing about Valentines Day is the seasonal pink, red, and white M&M's. The white one just always taste better,...

Ridgeland is a village in Dunn County, Wisconsin with a population of 275 at the time of the 2010 census. It is 1,092 above sea level,...

It’s 2019 and the internet is abundant with resolutions. Some common ones include: exercise more/lose weight, learn a new skill/hobby,...

The other day, a woman flipped me off in the parking lot of Ralph's. I wanted to take a moment to thank her, for being such a bitch. The...

There is a coffee shop in Peoria, IL called Thirty-Thirty., that is, and will forever be, the best coffee shop in the entire conceivable...

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect actual truths. One of...

House parties have always held an air of necessity. Like: we’ve got nowhere cool to go, and no one wants to go out, so let's shove...

My first and most sincere reason why no one should say “popping the cherry” is that cherries do not actually pop. Balloons pop. Tires...

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a runner. Nothing about “being a runner” is all that significant or glamorous. Some people speak in...